Hello my Dear Blogging Friends;
What a beautiful September day today was. I wasn’t up to much today at all. Just sat in my chair and read a book while my dog Mable rested on my lap; and on the floor beside me when she got too hot. She is such a sensitive dog who always sticks close to me on days when I’m not feeling up to par!
I hope that you will let me feel sorry for myself and bear with me and my stupid MS since it’s been a post or two since I have bored you with my whining.
It is really depressing to see this disease take its toll on myself and my other MS friends in my group. We (meaning us MS’ers and our loved ones) have every right to feel as we do and get mad as hell at this disease. It is not fair to anyone. I just know that by airing our feelings, we feel a little better getting it off our chest.
When you lose anything in life you used to be able to do, it is mourning of what life use to be and a realization of what is to come. Sorrow of the loss needs to be dealt with and gone through. Your caring and kind words mean the world to me, and you have no idea how much this helps.
I knew my body before MS was strong/stubborn/aggressively minded/stand by most in crises/always ready to dive into 10 projects at once/garden/bake/do my crafts/look after my family/hike/fish/work…I could go on and on.
Now however I have the stick to stop me wobbling too much, or falling down, the walker to keep me upright and to be able to walk about a bit, and finally the electric wheel chair, for those days that I want to go a little further, but can’t possibly do it without my chairs help. Trust me when I say that I didn’t accept each new piece of equipment gracefully! I take a ton of pills to help control the other parts of my body that are messed up due to the placement of my brain lesions. I can’t type worth shit anymore, and sometimes I can’t even remember how to spell shit! I also take Tysabri a chemo drug that is given to me monthly by IV and which costs almost $4,000 a pop. Thank the Lord for drug plans. My family and friends have been a tremendous support, when I allow them to that is. This past summer has been hard, realizing that I can do some things, but much, much less than I could do last summer. Acceptance comes slowly, and I am not always very good at it.
One thing I have sure discovered, old age comes early for anyone suffering with Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis.
I try to remain positive, and keep a smile on my face, although some days are harder than others. I am blessed to have you my fellow bloggers, friends and family to support me through the ups and downs of this wretched disease.
I may not have much in the way of crafting to show you, or interesting things to write about, but I do take great pleasure in reading your blogs, keeping up with you all on FB and emails. I don’t feel isolated or bored while reading snippets of all of my friends lives, and just wanted to thank you all for letting me have a peek in.