A little lighthearted MS humour that I picked up from a message board that I belong to. Sadly (or funnily depending on how you look at it) these are all true!
If you can't laugh with me, then for God sake, laugh at me!!
You know you have MS when your balance isn't crazy it's just every floor in the world is suddenly crooked. I swear they did this just to screw with us.
You know you have MS when you walk into the kitchen for a glass of water, feed the dog and then sit back down with no water, so you get up again to get that darn glass of water and grab a snack sit down and 10 min later realize you still don't have the stinking water.
You know you have MS when you you fall UP the stairs.
You know you have MS when you you answer the remote and change channels with the phone.
You know you have MS when you get in the car, and a few blocks down the road forget where you're going.
You know you have MS when you find the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard.
You know you have MS when you have to look to see whether you still have your socks on or not.
You know you have MS when your laughing and crying at same time.
You know you have MS when you walk better DRUNK than you do sober.
You know you have MS when you can beat your most embarrassing moment several times in one day!!!
You know you have MS when you put your foot in the pool and the water is boiling hot, then you put in your hand and it is cold.
You know you have MS when you let the dog out and completely forget if you've let him back in or not. It's especially fun when you're searching the entire house for the dog because you could swear that you let him in, but when you finally get smart and decide to look outside just in case, you find him sitting in front of the door begging to come in.
You know you've got MS when you realize that you know where every public restroom in your county is located.
You know you have MS when you tumble to the floor and explain to people that you are just demonstrating gravity.
You know you have MS when you are at the neuro's office and his receptionist asked me my date of birth. I could NOT remember the year I was born. I looked at her and said, "I am almost 50. Does that help?"
You know you have MS when you pick a black wheelchair, cause it will match well with anything you wear.
You know you have MS when you show up at work/hockey/grocery store/doctors in your slippers.
You know you have MS when your monthly meds cost more than your house payment; hell, more than all of the other monthly bills.
You know you have MS when you're packing for a trip and realize you've counted out and packed all your meds and injections -- but haven't packed one stitch of clothing.
You know you have M.S. when you can relate to Toddlers and stroke patients learning how to walk, Pregnant women that have to go tinkle a lot, geriatrics, babies, & toddlers when you want to cry because your pants need changed. And you have a cane sword fight with an 80-yr old over a handicap parking space.
Of all the things I miss, it's my mind I miss the most. I have MS. What's your excuse?